Miss 17 and I were having one of our deep, raw and honest conversations this week when she remarked on the back of an unsolicited comment, that I am 'quick to anger.'
Feeling a little taken aback, I questioned the statement and asked for examples. When none could be given, I made my own suggestions of when I thought I maybe had been quick to anger by her definition.
Was it the time ….
‘When I had asked the cat litter tray be emptied 3 times then frustratingly asked again with verbal emphasis on time frame?’ - No
“… The washing that sat wet in a basket on a beautiful windy sunny day …when she was home all day, having asked her before leaving home that morning” - No.
“When she came home at 15 years old with a tattoo up her arm?” - No.
Further suggestions were offered and all met with a calm, ‘no, not then- other times’.
I felt my blood pressure rise. She was calling me out on something but wouldn’t give me an example.. But internally right in that moment, she had me nailed. I was increasingly growing in frustration. In my burst bubble, I chuckled to myself, and sat uncomfortable with the fact she was right and being freshly served, “constructive feedback” as she so eloquently put it.
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about”
I’d been increasingly dealing with stressors over the past three months, taken on WAY too much and without vices, alcohol being the number 1. With no ‘wine to take the edge off’, I had no outlet and my journaling only allowed me to identify and reflect the array of feelings that were surfacing without the deep, earthy Shiraz to ‘ground’ me.
With all the love she bestows on me, my beautiful daughter, gently flipped our roles and was gently offering me some insight into the way in which she perceived the world. What her perception of my lack of patience or 'busy rush mode mum' was having an effect on her.
It is not uncommon, particularly of the last year that a similar circumstance to this occurs. A maturity gained from taking the path less traveled, learning from her mistakes and transforming into an amazing young woman. My only womb daughter, we have probably been more sisters or friends than mother and daughter. I’ve certainly made a lot of mistakes with her over the years but the biggest thing I’ve learnt in each given situation is flexibility.